09-May-2022

Skip Class Like A Pro You Idiot

How's it going cult members does this schedule sound familiar to you? You wake up at 6am, you eat breakfast at 7, you work until noon you eat lunch for 30 minutes. And then you work for another few hours, then you're good to go to hang out with your friends if so then what the did you do to end up in jail. I hated school, but I never really considered the sweet rewards of skipping class until I was a senior because on the first day of school, I walk into my math class, and I'm like nope. Definitely not for me and I'm like all right?

I walk into my art class, and I was like, yeah, most certainly not for me. And that went on for pretty much the rest of the day for all of my classes. So I just kind of end up like I don't gotta put up with this. And since then I became a video student than I already was, I was skipping class every morning afternoons. My grades were dropping my life was falling apart.

And my edginess was increasing, but I didn't care I was chilling because I never got in. Trouble for it see I was lived by one rule. And that is if you're going to do something do it to the best of your ability if school just isn't your thing.

Let me teach you how to skip like a pro rule. Number one, lower all of your teachers expectations of you and don't participate in class. Even if it's mandatory you see when you don't, even try to be included, the teachers don't worry about you, it's just another day of you being a humongous piece of student lucky for me, though I already had such a.

Diminished reputation that the teachers didn't even bother asking me to work, they'd be like okay, class today. We're doing group projects. I partnered everyone in class with someone except for solo, the deafening cries of his wilting soul will only bring the class average down, and I'm like that's.

Damn right? And I just tap dance. My way back out. No questions asked number two like any good murder. You always gotta have an alibi as a student as you are you can't, let the precious school know you will. Stoop so low as to skip class, no, no, no, of course, you were actually just at the nurse or having a chat with your counselor, no, you wouldn't dream of skipping your math class like that's, your favorite subject, and you're.

My favorite teacher, miss Bradley. I unfortunately got so good at this that I became very reliant on it. I skipped one art class like three days in a row and came back each time at the end of the class with a note saying that I was at the guidance counselor. And I kid you not the. Counselor even lied for me when my teacher called to ask if I was in the office, the whole class and to that, I say, thank you.

Miss counselor you're now off my hit list rule. Number three be completely socially inept. Okay. Now this one comes straight off of a page from a lot of my friend's playbook.

They were all pretty much two IQ points from telling me, I can't say, the word, without getting offended. So most teachers left them to their own devices. Specifically my friend Courtney would just not. Respond to teachers talking to her. So she got to do pretty much whatever she wanted in class without anyone even questioning it. I even skipped class one day because she was also skipping class. So I go to meet her by the lunchroom and the entire time that she was there.

No one questioned her. As soon as I arrived, I was immediately asked why I wasn't in class. So the point is, if you act like you have a death wish, you won't be bothered rule. Number four never stick around see a lot of people make the. Mistake of skipping a class and returning to another one afterwards and that's a problem, especially if you didn't follow any of my previous rules, if you're going to skip a class have some god-damn follow through and skip the rest of the day. This works best when it's near the end of the day because it's pretty much an emergency right any emergency.

Excuse will do my dog died. My mom died. I had to go write a socialist manifesto for Bernie Sanders doesn't matter as long as you're convincing, no one. Will care, but it is absolutely crucial that you leave the premises of the school rule number five, fake your depression. Now this is the golden rule and a surefire way to an escape ticket from any moment. You might encounter this, one shouldn't be too hard to follow all of you already do that.

But I just I need you to bump it up to a level of concern play it up with your teachers play it up with your parents play it up with your therapist as long as you're consistent. You can get away with not being. The school for weeks don't believe me, ask my friend nine, she can vouch for my genius. This works so well for her. She graduated with an entire year away from school.

And if all else fails, you can always just, you know, drop out. I mean, look at how successful dropouts such as Kurt Cobain, little peep, my girlfriend and Hitler became just drop out like I said before if you're going to do something do it to the best of your ability so just drop out, okay. But before you drop out, let me give you some.

Miscellaneous ideas of things I've tried and successfully done a few times. I had ordered a pizza to school, and I would eat it during my lunch period. However, if anyone asked me why I wasn't in that class, I would say my pizza came late, and I needed some time to eat it. Now you would think this wouldn't work, and you'd get a sure fire way to be written up. However, if you follow the other rules of being socially inept and depressed, no one really questions you for it. They're just kind of like all right. Well he had to eat his pizza.

Okay. Now, this other one wasn't, really my idea per se. But I definitely took advantage of it. One time there was a rumor spread around that someone was going to do a school shooting, uh during the last period of class. So a lot of seniors just walked out of class. None of us got in trouble for it.

Because we all believed there was going to be a school shooting the school did an investigation on it. I don't know what came out of that. But either way I got some free time. Okay now this next one should be a pretty easy one considering that all gym teachers are just failed athletes that don't really care about their jobs. They just care about their abandoned dream.

See. I was in gym class one time. And for our classes, we had to wear red and black or red and gray to signify that we are students, because when we would go outside, there'd be such a huge field of students that we had to keep track of the people there, however, the coaches weren't great at that. So I just. Switched to my normal clothes and left the school premises easy as that don't come back because you will get caught, but they will never notice a single student that is missing from the entirety of the gym class. And for my last one, this is an oldie, but a goodie, you can always say that you were doing a project for another class.

However, never actually put an actual class for that just say that you were doing a project somewhere else or in the library or another class, doesn't matter as long as you.We're doing a project elsewhere, and you got to chop off a few minutes of that one class you'll most likely not get in trouble. See, however, teachers hate it when you do work for other classes. So just keep it as vague as possibly can, and you will get away scot-free.

Now, I want you to go off into your next classes and start skipping with your heart out skip harder than little girls in the second grade and come back to this video drop a like if it actually worked thank me for my advice. Don't, forget to worship me, and I will see you some other time. I love you guys. Goodbye.